Have you ever felt like your love for music was slipping through your fingers?
You started out so excited, dreaming of the day you’d get to share your music with the world...
But now, the nerves, self-doubt, and pressure to "get it right" have taken all the joy out of performing.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Building confidence as a musician isn’t just about having the best technique or nailing that tricky solo — it’s about feeling good enough to share your art in the first place.
In today’s post, I’ll walk you through 10 practical steps to help you stop second-guessing yourself and start performing with confidence. These steps don’t require fancy tools or endless hours of preparation — just an open mind, a bit of reflection, and the willingness to try something new.
Let’s dive in 💙
Step 1: Understand What Confidence Really Is
First things first: Confidence isn’t about being fearless...
It’s about showing up even when fear is sitting next to you.
So instead of trying to get rid of all your nerves, think of confidence as a relationship with yourself where you trust your abilities even when you’re feeling wobbly.
Here’s a quick exercise:
Write down one thing you’ve done musically that you’re proud of.
Now, describe how you got there. Was it luck? Hard work? Persistence?
Chances are, you’ll see that confidence isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build by doing hard things and proving to yourself that you can.
Step 2: Reframe How You See Mistakes
Let’s get this out of the way:
Mistakes are inevitable. But instead of seeing them as proof that you’re not good enough, think of them as part of the process. Even the best musicians flub notes. What makes them great is how they recover.
So try this during your next practice session:
Intentionally mess up a note, then keep playing.
Notice how it feels to let the mistake be there without stopping.
When you realise a mistake doesn’t define your performance (or your worth as a musician), it becomes a lot less scary.
Step 3: Get Clear on Why You Play Music
Here's a question we often don't spend time on:
Why did you start playing in the first place?
Was it because music felt like freedom? A way to connect with others? A chance to express something words couldn’t capture?
When you’re caught up in nerves or self-doubt, it’s easy to lose sight of this.
So take some time to reconnect with your "why" and ground yourself before a performance.
Pro tip: Write a short note to yourself about why you love music and keep it in your pocket or phone case. You can read it whenever you need a boost.
Step 4: Create a Pre-Performance Routine
One of the best ways to calm your nerves is to develop a consistent routine before you perform. It could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, stretching, or even listening to a specific playlist.
Here are some more ideas for you to try:
The goal here isn’t to eliminate anxiety — it’s to create a sense of familiarity and control.
Over time, your routine becomes a signal to your brain that it’s time to focus.
Step 5: Practise "Performing" in Low-Stakes Situations
The truth is, performing does get easier the more you do it.
But you don’t have to wait for the big stage to start building confidence.
Here are a few ideas to practise performing:
Play for a close friend or family member — or a pet!
Record yourself and watch it back (yes, it’s uncomfortable, but it works).
Join a small open mic night or online music group.
The more you practise performing, the less intimidating it becomes.
Step 6: Learn to Manage Your Inner Critic
That little voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough?
No matter how many times you repeat positive affirmations, it’s not going anywhere.
But you can learn to stop letting it run the show.
Next time your inner critic shows up, try this:
Write down exactly what it’s saying.
Now, imagine saying those words to your best friend. Would you ever be that harsh to someone you care about?
Your inner critic might think it’s helping, but it’s not.
Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d give to someone you love.
Step 7: Focus on the Music, Not the Audience
When you’re on stage, it’s easy to get caught up in what the audience might be thinking.
But here’s what you need to keep in mind at all times: Most people in the audience are rooting for you.
They’re not analysing every note — they’re just there to enjoy the music.
So here are some ideas to shift your focus to the music:
Pick one thing to immerse yourself in, like the rhythm or melody.
Let yourself get lost in the music instead of worrying about the crowd.
Step 8: Build a Resilience Toolkit
Confidence isn’t just about the good days — it’s about bouncing back from the bad ones.
To help you bounce back (or get in the right mood), create a "toolkit" of things that help you recover when a performance doesn’t go as planned...or you're feeling less than your best.
Your toolkit might include:
A playlist of songs that inspire you.
A journal to reflect on what went well and what you learned.
A trusted friend or mentor to talk things through with.
The more tools you have, the easier it becomes to pick yourself up and keep going.
And if you'd like to have cute cards with 28 ideas to try when you want to stop worrying but don't know what to do instead, check out the Worry-Free Focus Card Deck in my actually-free Free Resources Library.
Step 9: Visualise Your Performance
Before you step on stage (or even as a regular part of your daily practice), take a moment to imagine yourself performing with confidence.
Picture the audience clapping, feel the energy of the music flowing through you, and see yourself ending with a sense of pride and accomplishment.
A lot of people think visualisation means imagining a flawless performance where everything goes exactly to plan. But for many musicians, this can feel fake or even frustrating — like you’re pretending to be perfect, which you know isn’t realistic.
That’s not the point of visualisation.
Instead, it’s about creating a mental roadmap. See yourself handling challenges calmly, staying grounded even if something goes wrong, and recovering with ease. When used this way, it becomes more about rehearsing how you want to respond, so you’re mentally prepared for whatever comes your way.
By practising this, you’ll go into your performance with a sense of readiness, not because it’s guaranteed to be perfect, but because you know you can handle it.
Step 10: Celebrate Every Win (No Matter How Small)
Building confidence takes time, and every step forward counts.
So whether it’s finishing a practice session without giving up or playing a gig without a major meltdown, celebrate your progress.
Here’s a fun idea:
Keep a "win journal" where you write down every small victory. On tough days, you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
Wrapping It Up
If you follow these steps — understanding what confidence really is, reframing mistakes, and reconnecting with your love for music — you’ll be well on your way to performing with pride and joy.
Because building confidence isn’t about becoming fearless or perfect.
It’s about showing up as you are, trusting your abilities, and finding the courage to share your music anyway.
And confidence is a vital part of finding joy in music again and feeling the thrill of performing.
This is what I want for you, dear musician.
I want you to become the confident and joyful performer you want – or need – to be.
If you’d like to discuss having more fun on stage, overcoming a negative inner voice, or… you know, building your confidence, I’d love to invite you to my virtual studio for my Colour & Connect Hour. It is an online call where we can talk about music, brainstorm ideas for your performances and get creative. It’s free and casual, but if you can’t make the time slot, we can always arrange a tea date instead.
