That One Audition You Still Think About? ⌛️

Sometimes my old leg injury flares up.

Usually when I push too hard in a workout.

It’s a weird little ghost of a mistake I made over a decade ago...

Back in the days when I thought I was invincible.

I was at ballet class.

No warm-up.

Just decided to plop myself into the splits, like a smug little swan.

Bad idea. 

Snapped something that didn’t appreciate the surprise.

I can still remember the pain.

And weirdly, it still whispers when I go too far.

Not every time.

But it’s always... there.

Lurking.

Waiting to remind me of that one reckless moment.

What's this got to do with music, you ask...

Those old injuries?

They’re not just physical.

I see the same thing in musicians — all the time.

Someone has a bad experience…

An audition gone wrong.

A teacher who shamed them.

A stage moment they wish they could erase.

And it becomes this low-level hum in the background. 

Sometimes unnoticed... but never fully gone.

They go on.

Keep playing.

Keep showing up in their own way.

And yet… something’s off.

Underneath it all... There’s this old story still running.

Silently shaping what they do or don’t attempt.

One of my favourite clients — a brilliant musician in his 40s — once told me about a traumatic audition from his teens.

He froze.

Didn’t get in.

Felt like a failure.

And so, he quit. 

Not music — he never stopped loving it — but the idea of pursuing it as a career.

That wound made all the decisions for years.

Until he realised… 

He’d outgrown the version of himself who got hurt.

But he was still letting that memory write the rules.

Past experiences might explain your fear…

But they don’t get to define your future.

You’re allowed to move forward with a different script.

And yes, the old injury might whisper now and then.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t dance.

You just need to warm up first. 

Learn how your body — and mind — really work. 

Get support that understands the real obstacles.

Not just "play louder" or "use more breath."

But things they never taught us in lessons or music schools.

Because technique doesn’t fix a mental ghost. 

So, look…

If you're a musician who still hears echoes of an old moment...

An experience you’ve never quite shaken off…

And it’s keeping you from performing the way you know you can...

You might like this masterclass I made called CONQUER: Performance Anxiety. 

It’s about performing well even when worry, fear, or shame tries to take the mic.

Not “positive thinking” or power poses. (We don't do those here.)

A proven, step-by-step process. 

If that sounds helpful, check it out here:

CONQUER: Performance Anxiety

Always rooting for you,

Gökçe 💙